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Parenting Coach Katie Malinski LCSW role plays with Kate Raidt the most effective way to communicate with your kids.

Would you like to communicate better with your children? Parenting Coach Katie Malinski LCSW role plays with Kate Raidt the basic rules for good communication with your kids.

“The brain can be developed just as a set of muscles.” ~Thomas Edison

I want to ask you to suspend your belief that “creativity is inherited”. In fact, creativity is inherent in every human being. As parents, YOU can nurture and strengthen your children’s creative abilities.

Your children have enormous mental capacity stored within the right hemisphere of their minds that can become weaker as they spend less time engaged in creative activity. Imaginative play is replaced with TV and video games. Coloring and drawing are replaced with writing and mathematics. The pressure to perform on standardized tests replaces “circle time.” School becomes more about memorizing facts and figures and less about independent thinking.

Without an awareness of the importance of developing the creative, right brain skills, your young children can depart from their innate creative selves into logical, linear thinking, left-brain-dominant “mature” individuals.

Whereas creatively empowered individuals say, “We can make this work!” others may say, “It has never been done before.” It is exactly this disparity that fueled a recent cover story (July 2010) in Newsweek Magazine entitled “The Creativity Crisis”. It reported decisively that our children’s creativity scores (based on a creativity test similar in intention to the IQ test) have been steadily DROPPING since 1990. With all of the challenges facing our world today and our children being the future source of potential solutions to these problems, it is now more important than ever to pay special attention to balancing our children’s education to include creative activity.

What can you do to ensure your kids grow into “creatively fit” adults? Here are three simple steps. Learn more at

  1. Provide unstructured playtime. Resist the temptation to have every day booked full of activity. Kids need the “blank canvas” time in their day where it is entirely up to them to CREATE their acitivity.
  2. Shop for art supplies at the grocery store. You don’t need fancy art supplies or a home studio to use creative art activity to fuel your child’s creative mind. Simply keep blank paper in the kitchen (because, let’s face it, that is where they live), crayons, fresh markers, a glue stick, etc.
  3. Get outside! Nothing serves as a greater source of inspiration than the great outdoors. The kids may resist at first, but take them to the park, the nature reserve, or even send them to the driveway with some sidewalk chalk. It is the simple activities that will have the most impact.

To learn all “33 Things” you can do to raise creative kids, buy Whitney Ferre’s book 33 Things to Know About Raising Creative Kids.

Summer is here… your kids are surely looking forward to the break from school.  How about you?  Are you feeling ready for your family-together-time?  If you aren’t feeling so ready—consider sitting down with the kids to brainstorm fun activity ideas together.  Have the kids write out a list of things they would like to do this summer, including ideas that are free, indoors, outdoors, quiet, loud, solitary, or done in a group.  Give them a small theoretical budget (ie, $10/week) to see how they would spend the family resources on activities.  When we give kids some control and responsibility for the planning, they will be more likely to help make it happen, and be happy about it when you do!

Here are a few relatively easy ways to have quality family time together without spending a ton of money.

But mostly, take advantage of the slower pace that summer usually brings.  Spend more time cuddling, playing, and laughing.  Relax and enjoy yourself—let the summer fun begin!

Does homework at your house stretch out to fill the entire evening? Assuming you believe the amount of homework is reasonable for your child’s grade (and check with your child’s teacher or principal if you think it’s not), then now is time to help your child get homework done with time left over for fun. Here’s how.

You remember Parkinson’s Law: Work expands to fill the time allowed. The child who lets his homework drag on is allowing it too much time. Many kids do this because they don’t know any other way. Because homework always takes all night, they don’t realize it might be possible to do it quicker. To change your child’s perspective, you’ll need to help her think differently.

A New Daily Routine

As soon as your child gets home review together what homework was assigned that day. It helps to walk through the daily classroom schedule: what do you have for reading? what do you have for math? what do you have for social studies? and so on. The objective is to get a clear picture of the homework load early on, so there are no surprises later.

Then, help your child to imagine how long each piece of homework will take. He will need your help here, though he’ll get better at estimating time as he becomes more practiced. Put a sticky note on each bit of homework that indicates his best guess about time.

Next, help your child consider what else he’d like to do that evening. Does he need to play outside a bit or have a snack? Is there a television program he wants to watch? Does he have some sort of practice or lesson he needs to get to? Remember to figure in time for dinner and a reasonable bedtime.

Now your child creates her plan. What homework will she do first and how will the various bits of homework fit into the spaces between the other things she needs or wants to do? Some kids like to do the hardest or longest piece of homework first and some like to get a lot of the smaller, easier ones out of the way first. There’s no right or wrong way.

Get settled in. Make sure your child has a clear space to do the work. If your child has trouble staying on-task, make this a quiet spot near where you’re also going to be. Turn off the TV and other distractions. Especially when you’re trying to build a new habit for doing homework, it’s important that the place for homework work well for your child. Other kids in the household might need to help in reducing the interruptions.

Set a timer or at least note on the clock when the first bit of homework should be done, based on your child’s estimate of the time needed. Let him get started.

When the first piece of homework is completed, share high-fives all round and let your child get on to the next. Celebrate each step but help your child stay on-track. Make sure to stop for whatever breaks your child has planned but make sure also to not delay in getting back down to business.

A New Habit

It will take a while for this new system to become a habit. But if you can stick with it for three weeks, your child will be on the way to being able to manage his time better all by himself. He will also start to see the results of his diligence, in the form of better grades at school and more fun at home. He may be able to look back on the time when homework took forever and laugh at his old self.

But What If?

What if there is just too much homework? Talk with your child’s teacher and talk also with other parents. Is everyone in the class having the same difficulty? If it’s just your child having trouble, why is that? Is she having trouble not just with homework but with guided instruction during the school day? Does she have too many extracurricular activities that take up too much after-school time? What is reasonable and what can be done?

What if he can’t remember his assignments? Most schools these days offer a homework hotline or online homework listings that can be helpful on those nights your child can’t figure out the homework directions or he knows there is an assignment but can’t remember what it is. Using a homework notebook can help, though he’ll have to remember to fill this in during class, when you won’t be there to remind him to write things down.

What if she just plain won’t do it? Kids sometimes don’t do homework because it’s better to be thought lazy than stupid. Why go to all the trouble of doing homework and earn a D – and let everyone know you’re dumb – when not-doing homework just means you’re lazy or too cool for school? If your child feels she cannot succeed, she won’t do her homework. In this case, you’ll need to help her get her confidence back, by locating a tutor or helping her with her work yourself. (Notice this doesn’t mean you do the homework – that only makes your child think you believe she’s dumb too. But it does mean you’ll need to make her success a priority.)

When you help your child manage his homework, you give him a great skill he’ll use over and over. It’s worth the time and effort you’ll need to put into this to get your child back on track.