The more sleep you get, the more sleep your children get. This surprising fact emerged in a new study from the University of Illinois. Maybe it’s time to rethink your own sleep habits.

The researchers focused on locating precursors to preschool obesity. Many different factors were examined, affecting 337 preschool children and their parents, including parents’ own weight, family eating habits and children’s daily screen time. The only significant factor leading to obesity in preschoolers was sleep. Children who routinely slept less than the recommended 10 hours each day were more likely to be overweight than children who got adequate sleep.

But children’s sleep was directly associated with parents’ sleep. Children of parents who got less than the recommended 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night were much more likely to get little sleep themselves. Entire families appear to be sleep-deprived! Barbara H. Fiese, director of the University of Illinois Family Resiliency Center, notes that “parents won’t get a good night’s sleep unless and until their preschool children are sleeping.” The longer children are up, the less sleep they – and their moms and dads – will get.

Fiese has found, in a previous study in which she followed families for a year, that five- to seven-year-old children in some families go to bed as late as 11 pm. They stay awake to have time with parents who work long hours and spend the evening hours cuddling with mom and dad, watching television, and finally falling asleep and being carried to bed. Parents have the best of intentions, Fiese says, and quality time is important for the entire family. But the results of sleep deprivation include grumpiness the next day, reduced alertness in school (or at work), and weight gain.

What can you do? Look at your own sleep habits first.

1. Do you get at least 7 hours – and preferably 8 hours or more – of sleep each night? Remember that “sleep” is counted not from when you go to bed but from when you actually fall asleep. Do your children get at least 10 hours of sleep each night?
2. Do you remember to turn off all electronics at least 30 minutes – and preferably an hour – before going to bed? The light emitted by televisions, e-readers, computers and smart phones interferes with release of the sleep hormone melatonin and can keep you awake. Do your children turn off their devices long before bedtime? Do you keep screens out of their bedrooms (and yours)?
3. Do you limit caffeine consumption up to five hours before going to bed? This means no coffee, no cola, no chocolate or cocoa for you – or the children. Caffeine is a well-known sleep-inhibitor but did you know that alcohol also can keep you awake or cause you to wake in the middle of the night? Limit your intake of alcohol also.
4. Do you have a reliable sleep routine? The fact is the body doesn’t usually just shut down when you shut off the light. Falling asleep is a process that is triggered by cues you establish in a nightly routine. Following the same steps every night makes sleep happen. Do your children have a reliable sleep routine too? Do they have an established bedtime?
5. Do you get up at the same time each morning? Sleeping-in on the weekends actually can interfere with sleeping well at night. Make certain you and your children get to bed in time to sleep the necessary number of hours before everyone needs to wake up the next day.

Sleep in the summer, when evenings a light and lovely, seems less important. But sleep deprivation knows no season and overweight as a result of sleep deprivation is a serious threat.

Make getting adequate sleep a goal for everyone in your family, even for you.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Ask for Dr. Anderson’s new book, Parenting: A Field Guide, at your favorite bookstore.

The stereotypical book worm is pale, skinny, and physically weak, with weak eyesight and weak muscles. Now a new study demonstrates that the opposite is actually true: children who are physically fit have faster brain responses when reading than kids who are not physically fit. Better brain response translates into more fluent reading and comprehension.

Researchers at the University of Illinois measured “event-related brain potentials” connected to processing of semantic information and language structure was collected from children as they read ordinary sentences. Children with greater levels of fitness appeared to have a richer vocabulary, greater understanding of the meanings of words, and better ability to detect errors in grammar and word usage. In short, fit kids were smarter than less-fit kids.

These findings support previous studies that have found that exercise is linked to school success, but the news here is the brain-based mechanism that accounts for this success. No other factors that could have resulted in the difference in brain performance was found. The difference in reading ability depended on physical fitness.

The take-away is obvious. Get kids moving and keep them moving. Here are some tips:

1. Make certain your children get at least one hour of active play every day. Consider that for every hour of sedentary play – video game play, television viewing, and even reading – a child should be active a matching hour.
2. Avoid excuses. It’s easy to say it’s too hot, too rainy, too windy, too unsafe, or too inconvenient to get children outdoors or to the park or swimming pool. Make physical activity a habit at your house.
3. Pay attention to playing time in organized sports. Your child isn’t active when she’s sitting on the bench. Notice how much time any child sits and watches others on game days and even during practices.
4. Make certain that recess is included in your child’s school day. School may be out for the summer, but recess is endangered in many districts. During the summer may be the right time to remind school officials of the importance of recess and your expectation that active play is part of every single school day.

Good readers have an advantage in school. Who knew that good readers also are at an advantage at play? Reading and fitness go hand-in-hand.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Ask for Dr. Anderson’s new book, Parenting: A Field Guide, at your favorite bookstore.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not going to suggest you start nasty rumors about your kid so his friends won’t like him so much. Being popular and having a lot of friends is a good thing.

But if your child isn’t one of the in crowd you might just thank your lucky stars. Being popular comes with risks.

In a recent study, researchers found that teens who were the most popular at age 13 were mired in problems 10 years later. The scientists followed 180 children from public schools in the Southeastern United States for a decade until age 22 or 23, along the way interviewing them, their parents, and their friends.  After 10 years, kids who were part of the popular gang in early adolescence had a 45 percent higher incidence of drug and alcohol abuse than less-popular teens, leading to missed work and DUI arrests among the popular kids. They were also more likely to have been arrested for a crime.

Lead researcher Joseph Allen reports that although in middle school and high school the most popular kids seemed to be on a social fast-track, doing more dating, going more places, and having more fun than other teens, at age 22 these same people’s friends described them as less mature than other 20-year-olds.

What does this mean for your child?

If she’s not part of the most popular group, don’t make it your mission to put her there. Popularity is a two-edged sword and doesn’t necessarily lead to a life of social success. Make raising your child to be an interesting, friendly, engaged person the goal and downplay popularity and status.

If your child is one of the popular ones, keep an eye on things. Remember that research studies necessarily deal in generalities and it’s doubtful that all the popular kids in this study became social outcasts after high school. Your popular child’s path may be different from the general findings of research. But certainly kids who maintain their popularity into their 20s have more going for them than just being cool. They are interesting, friendly, and engaged people.

People like them, not because they’re popular, but because they’re nice.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Ask for Dr. Anderson’s new book, Parenting: A Field Guide, at your favorite bookstore.

Who spanks a little baby, someone just a year old, who can barely walk and can scarcely talk? What parent would hit a child who can’t even tell the difference between right and wrong?

Nearly one in three parents do, that’s who.

A study by researchers at University of Michigan of 2,788 families of children aged about 15 months found that 30% of parents had spanked their baby at least once in the past month. The problem with spanking of very young children is that it sets off a cascade of other effects with long-term consequences.

First of all, early spanking sets up a habit of spanking that parents find difficult to break. Spanking a baby who is, obviously, unable to understand what he did wrong, is clearly not intended as discipline aim at teaching better behavior. Instead, spanking of babies demonstrates a parent’s frustration and inability to control her anger. Once hitting is established as a way of dealing with anger, parents are likely to hit without ever considering other, less violent means. It becomes the first resort, not the last resort.

Second, spanking is bad for babies, who are particularly vulnerable to psychological harm. The developmental task of infants is to develop a strong bond with a parent – a secure attachment – that serves as the foundation for social interactions throughout life. Children who fail to develop a secure attachment as infants struggle to get along with others. Because spanking seems completely random and meaningless to a baby, who cannot understand the connection between what she just did and a parent’s anger, spanking undermines the baby’s trust in her parent and her attachment.

And, finally, spanking is just plain dangerous for babies, who are quite breakable.  According to researchers, parents in the study who spanked their infants were likely to be investigated sometime over the next four years by child protective services.  CPS visits when there is evidence of harm, including bruising, broken bones and brain damage. Tiny bodies are no match for adult anger.

No research has found that spanking improves children’s behavior. In fact, harsh parenting is associated with children’s poor school achievement, bad behavior, and problems with mental health. Certainly, spanking babies makes no sense.

What does make sense?

1. Redirect your child. Instead of spanking, simply remove the baby (gently!) to another location or give her something else to play with. Block her access to something forbidden or put it out of her reach.
2. Pick him up and go for a walk outside for a few minutes – or if you’re outside, go back inside for a little bit. The change of scene often stops a crying jag or an episode of bad behavior. Just stay calm and gentle as you do this.
3. Stop what you’re doing and give your child your full attention. Get down on the floor with him and play together for a few minutes.
4. Notice when you are already crabby. Don’t take your anger at someone else out on your child. Take a deep breath and remember what’s important – your baby’s happiness.
5. Hugs not hits. A bit of cuddling and fun will turn around a fussy, troublesome baby. Be sweet and bring out the sweetness in your child.

Being a parent isn’t easy and it takes a lot of self-control.  You will become a more loving, responsible parent if you can resist the spanking habit when your child is just a baby.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Join Dr. Anderson in an online conference for teachers and parents. Find out more at Quality Conference for Early Childhood Leaders.

Is your family sticking close to home this summer? Plan a Family Stay-cation and have all the fun you could have in another town and spend a fraction of the cost, right in your own locale. Here are some tips and some suggestions for things to do.

Begin by blocking off a week (or two) for your stay-cation, just as you would if you were going to Disney World instead. Put this on your calendar, don’t accept competing appointments, and take the time off from work. This is a stay-cation, not just random things to do. Put yourself in the mood for fun by letting life go to vacation mode.

Then plan each day’s activities. Keep in mind that even at a theme park, you would eventually want a quieter day, so don’t commit to one “big” event after another. The best vacations have a rhythm of high-interest and lower stress activities.

Keep in mind the ages of your children and their stamina levels. Teens will feel the pull of their friends and may want to skip out of the family plan some days. Decide ahead of time how you will handle this: a reluctant, unhappy teen can smother the fun for everyone but so can worry about what your teen is doing on her own while you’re out with your other children. Consider bringing along your teen’s best friend, so your kid has someone to be with.

At the same time, remember that little kids need their naps. Plan your activities to have the best chance of making everyone happy.

Finally, feel free to skip the high-priced tourist destinations in your area in favor of low-cost or free destinations. Depending on the ages and interests of your children, choose from this list of ideas or be inspired to come up with your own.

Playground tour. Spend a day visiting four different playgrounds. What could be more fun? Be sure to take along a book, so you don’t get bored, but remember to “Look at me!”

Factory field trip. In my town, a bread bakery offers a tour of their factory. What businesses in your town do something similar? Reserve your family’s tour now, since these do fill up.

Backyard camping. Pitch a tent in the backyard, gather up the flashlights and sleeping bags and have a wonderful time. If you can start the evening with a campfire and toasted marshmallows, so much the better!

Farm visit. Many farm families supplement their incomes by offering barnyard tours during the summer. These can be a bit of an expense but less if you bring your own picnic. Find out what farms near you offer this.

Hard Hat Hangout. Scope out a local construction project with as much heavy equipment at work as possible and with a good view from a safe distance. This can create an exciting and memorable day for bulldozer-obsessed kids.

Recycle Action Day. This is pretty easy: get some small-size trash bags (quicker to fill and not so large that they trip children), some child-size work gloves, and get to a park or beach that needs a bit of a clean-up. If you’re concentrating on trash, you can make super long tweezers with strips of wood wrapped together at one end around a slice of cork (to create the hinged end). If you’re looking for recyclables, have separate bags for cans and plastics.

Room Re-do Day. This is great when outdoor plans are rained out. Pick a room – maybe the playroom or garage – clean it out, rearrange the furniture, and even paint the walls! You’ll need trash bags, paint, rollers and paint shirts. Great fun!

Library tour. This is another good rainy day activity. Visit four or more local library branches in your library system. Spend time in each children’s room, checking out the toys and puzzles. Bring along your card and check out good things to read or DVDs to watch later.

One more thing. Observe these basic rules as seems good to you:

• Pack your own snacks and lots of water.  Don’t depend on fast food, please!
• Bring something to sit on. A blanket or sheet is all you need.
• Be sure to carry sunscreen, a first aid kit and a cell phone.
• Wear comfortable clothes and shoes.
• Know the weather prospects for the day and be ready.
• Go home before everyone gets crabby.

Remember the fun starts before you leave the house. Make your departure unstressful, unhurried and pleasant. Vacations are fun and stay-cations even more so!

Have a wonderful summer!

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Ask for Dr. Anderson’s new book, Parenting: A Field Guide, at your favorite bookstore.

The developmental task of babies is to connect with other humans. In order for babies to have brain bandwidth sufficient to learn to do the things children can do, they must be unworried about their connection with Mom and Dad. A secure attachment to parents is essential to children’s mental health and also to their intellectual and social development later on.

So a new, large scale review of studies involving 14,000 American children is disturbing. It found that fully 40% of babies lack this secure attachment. As over 140 studies in the past have demonstrated, children at age three who did not develop secure attachment in infancy are more likely to be aggressive, defiant and hyperactive. Worse, these behavior patterns continue. Attachment or lack of attachment is lifelong.

Secure attachment is formed in the first year of life, usually by 10 months of age. It grows out of a baby’s understanding that her parents have her best interests at heart. Parents demonstrate this by being attentive and supportive to the baby, by picking her up when she cries, holding her and reassuring her. Parents whose children develop secure attachment are consistently child-centered. These babies know they can count on their parents. They are never worried that the “witch-mother” or the “danger-dad” will show up instead.

Researcher Sophie Moullin puts it this way: “When parents tune in to and respond to their children’s needs and are a dependable source of comfort, those children learn how to manage their own feeling and behaviors. These secure attachments to their mothers and fathers provide these children with a base from which they can thrive.”

Most children – 60% – do develop secure attachment. They get what they need from their parents early in life.  But nearly half – 40% – do not. Failure to become securely attached is not dependent on family income, race, education, or other factors. It can happen in any family when mothers and fathers parent from their own agendas, not from what the baby needs.

How do you do this? According to researcher Susan Campbell, parents should “tune in” to babies, picking up on infants’ social signals. Campbell writes, “When helpless infants learn early that their cries will be responded to, they also learn that their needs will be met, and they are likely to form a secure attachment to their parents.” Being attuned means…

1. Being responsive. Babies who are picked up promptly when they cry learn to cry less, not more. Picking a baby up doesn’t teach him to cry. It teaches him you can be counted on.
2. Being observant. Babies cry for a reason. What could that reason be? Babies soothe predictably. How does your baby like to be soothed? Remember your infant isn’t trying to make you mad or to manipulate you.
3. Being calm, not matter what.  In order to become securely attached babies have to feel safe. This means that the “good” you has to show up, no matter what else is going on. Never treat a baby roughly, never yell or scream at your baby. The parent who can be trusted isn’t mean.

Secure attachment is lifelong. It sets the stage for preschool behavior, elementary school success, and teen identity. Your own attachment as an infant drives the way you interact with other people, even today, and even with your own infant. Being attuned to a baby isn’t always easy, especially when we are struggling with our own issues. But the payoff is there. A good, secure relationship with your child is something worth working for.

Babies who develop secure attachment are more likely to be well-behaved, sensible, social children and a pleasure to be around. While it’s never too late to rebuild a relationship with your children, it’s far better to get children off to a good start. Start right with your baby.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Join Dr. Anderson in an online conference for teachers and parents. Find out more at Quality Conference for Early Childhood Leaders

Teachers often decorate a classroom with colorful art pieces from their students. Yet a recent study conducted by researchers from Carnegie Mellon University found that rooms with too many decorations or distractions could be detrimental to children’s learning.

Have you ever walked into a childcare center or preschool classroom and been overwhelmed by all the colorful stuff on the walls, hanging from the ceiling, and even laid across the floor? I have! Now a study by psychologist Anna V. Fisher, published in the journal Psychological Science, suggests that all that visual clutter might have a negative effect on learning.

Fisher used a classroom of 24 kindergarteners and six science lessons as the basis for her study. Three of the lessons were taught to the children in a sparsely-decorated space; the other three lessons were taught in a heavily-decorated classroom. After each lesson, students were quizzed on the content. The result? Lessons taught in the plainer classroom resulted in higher quiz scores (55 percent correct) than did lessons taught in the visually-busy room (42 percent correct).

Certainly this is a small-scale study of limited scope but it suggests something you might have suspected to be true: that children’s attention can be diverted by their surroundings and can result in paying less attention to what we might want them to notice. In fact, it’s been established that children have “open attention” – meaning they process all sensory information equally – in contrast to adults’ more focused attention, in which we are able to filter out what is important and attend only to that.

It seems to me that it’s not just teachers and classrooms that might be a problem. If your young child seems to have trouble focusing, seems easily distracted, and never listens look around. Is there a lot of clutter?

Goodness knows, it’s hard to keep things neat with children in the house. But if clutter in classrooms makes children perform less well, it seems reasonable to guess the same might be happening at home.  Here are some tips to try:

1. Make it a habit to pick up books and toys at least before bedtime every day. Together. This isn’t a task for the grownup but something for the children to do, though we know they’ll need your help. Start each day with a clean playroom, instead of with the mess from the day before.
2.  Keep children’s rooms on the spare side, instead of letting them fill up with boxes and bins and shelves full of stuff. Less might mean more when it comes to attention and good behavior. This doesn’t mean you should throw the excess out but that it should be stored away. Rotate toys, instead of having them all available all the time.
3. Keep clothes drawers lean too. What’s in a child’s dresser and closet should be what actually fits him now, not what he’s going to grow into and what he’s already grown out of.
4. Pay attention to media clutter too. If the television is always running in the background, if there’s the “zap-ping-pow” of video games going off all the time, or music is blaring distractingly, tone things down. Teach your media-lovers how to use the volume switch and where the headphones are kept… and even how to turn the sound off altogether.

If sometimes things at home are so distracting and crazy you “can’t hear yourself think,” imagine what it’s like for your children, who have trouble enough thinking even on a calm day.  Control the clutter and your kids may find it easier to control themselves.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Ask for Dr. Anderson’s new book, Parenting: A Field Guide, at your favorite bookstore.

Sudden Infant Death Syndrome, or SIDS, is every parent’s nightmare. Each year, 2,000 babies in the U.S. die during sleep. Over the past two decades the incidence of SIDS has fallen by 50%, after the American Academy of Pediatrics’ Back to Sleep campaign. Putting babies down to sleep on their backs, instead of on their tummies or sides, is safer. But many parents still do not follow this advice.

A report presented at a recent annual meeting of the Pediatric Academic Societies noted that a survey of over 1,000 mothers found that 10% routinely put infants to sleep on their bellies. In addition, 18.5% of the mothers reported sleeping in the same bed with the baby (bed sharing), another risk factor for SIDS.

Another report presented at the same meeting found that fully one-third of parents put babies down to sleep on their stomachs and even more parents of premature babies do so. This is despite the fact that preterm babies are at greater risk for SIDS than full term babies are.

Although the annual rate of SIDS deaths fell dramatically from the start of the Back to Sleep promotion in 1995 to 2000, since 2001 the annual rate has remained virtually the same. SIDS is the leading cause of death for infants between one month and one year of age.

A survey included in the second report found that attention to babies’ sleep position varied by state. Wisconsin mothers were most observant of the need to put babies down on their backs; 81% said this is their standard practice. But in Alabama, the state with the lowest rate of Back to Sleep compliance, only 50% of mothers were careful to put babies to sleep on their backs.

If you are not already observing safe sleep habits with your baby, here are some tips to follow:

• Always put your baby down for naps or at night on his back.
• Always put your baby down for naps or at night in her own bed. Don’t put babies to sleep on the couch, in a car seat, or in your own bed.
• Make certain that your baby’s crib has a firm mattress with a smooth sheet.
• Don’t use pillows or blankets in your baby’s bed. If you’re worried about your child being cold in the night, dress him in a footed sleeper.
• Don’t use a crib bumper, stuffed animals, or anything else in your baby’s bed. It should just be the baby and the mattress.
• Don’t sleep with your baby in your own bed. This runs counter to many who believe that bed sharing supports breast feeding. Those who worry about SIDS suggest that it’s too easy for a baby sleeping in a soft adult bed with pillows, blankets and other people to become trapped and suffocated.
• When your baby can roll over from her back to her tummy and back again to her tummy, you don’t need to return her to her back as she sleeps. So long as she can turn herself from her tummy to her back, she should be safe.
• Quit smoking. New studies suggest that not only is second-hand smoke a cause of SIDS but “third-hand smoke” is too. Third-hand smoke is the smoke that lingers on clothing, in hair, on furniture and in the car even after a cigarette is extinguished.

These are simple steps that will ease your mind. When you practice safe sleep habits with your baby, you are doing what you can to prevent SIDS.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Ask for Dr. Anderson’s new book, Parenting: A Field Guide, at your favorite bookstore.

It used to bother me when my husband would go to the grocery store and purchase foods that we normally didn’t eat at home.  I would feel worried. Worried that all the good measures I had taken at home to assure our four children were being fed healthfully would be erased by the presence of white bread, sugar wafers, and potato chips. In those early years of vacationing, what was stocked in the kitchen on vacation was often a bone of contention between my husband and I.

But I think my husband was on to something, and I have to say that I have come to agree with his attitude about vacation and food. It has paid off in spades with our children. One of the things we all look forward to when we leave for break is our “vacation food.”

Vacation is a break from the usual routine. Sleeping patterns change, habits change, eating schedules and food are different. A break from shopping, cooking, and healthy meal planning is something I relish.  The children also get a break from the usual foods we eat, and get to indulge in foods that are not regularly purchased.

While we all savor foods like white bread, chocolate cereal, sugar wafers, chips, and more ice cream than usual, we also incorporate more fish, farm fresh vegetables, and fruit. When I step back and weigh the balance and totality of what our family is eating, in general, it is still balanced. Only the components have changed.

I see a benefit from shifting the overall eating pattern and embracing “less than healthy” foods on vacation, as well as the healthier, local, seasonal food items.  For the healthier options, allowing your child an opportunity to try other foods and expand their repertoire is always a good thing. On the other hand, offering “less than healthy” foods allows your child to have what is often tightly controlled at home or infrequently available.  This escape from the usual food routine may help your child be relaxed about food and eating, as they learn that there is a time and place for all foods. Taking a vacation from the normal food routine can be an investment in your child’s future attitude about food balance, moderation and variety.

Here is the payoff for my family:  By the time vacation is finished, we are all happy to have had the break and ready for a return to the normal food routine.  As quoted by my 13 year-old daughter on one summer vacation, “Mom, I miss your bread.”  Enough said.