Link copied to clipboard

The scene: your 4 year old is upset because you have brought her the pink shoes instead of the purple ones.  (How could you?!)  She is whining, crying, and maybe both of you are starting to raise your voices.

Yes!  Experiment with this next time you have a child who is upset over something you don’t mind compromising about:

It may take dozens of repetitions (or more,) but eventually you’ll start seeing the time between (a) the beginnings of upset and (b) greater self-regulation and calmly talking through problems, begin to decline.  This is huge!  Give yourself and your kid a pat on the back and a lot of credit.

Note: Remember, this is for small stuff where she really can have whatever she wants–not situations where what she wants is a pony or to skip school, etc.