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You might think that giving your children academic advantages in early life—things like the best schools, lessons, or extra tutoring are the most  helpful things you can do to help them get ahead and thereby set them up for an adulthood full of happiness.  Many parents do, and make sacrifices so that their children are given these advantages.  However, as it turns out, childhood academic success isn’t the most important factor in supporting adult happiness.

Researchers in New Zealand recently published the results of a large, long-term study that compared the link between adult happiness, and early academic advantages and social connectedness in childhood and adolescence.  And would you believe it?  Social connectedness in childhood/adolescence turned out to be a much stronger predictor of adult happiness.

What this means for us as parents is not that school and learning and academic success don’t matter—of course they do.  But sometimes we can lose sight of priorities, and this research reminds us not to do this.  A child’s self-concept, his ability to make friends, her confidence in herself and her abilities, his connectedness with peers and peer groups—those skills and abilities predict adult happiness.  Something to consider when evaluating your child’s overall health and success!

See more information on this research here: http://tinyurl.com/dxtxu9x

5 Tips for Helping Develop Strong Peer Relationships for Your Kids:

1. Encourage your child to have play dates – and be a willing hostess

2. Never criticize their choice of friends – treat their peers the way you would treat your own children

3. Build strong mom-friends (or dad-friends). Many children develop strong bonds with the children their parents are good friends with.

4. Unless safety is an issue, be flexible and willing to allow your kids to play with other kids.

5. Keep your children involved in extra-curricular activities. Many of the best friendships develop from sports teams, summer camps, the marching band or youth church choir.

 

How are you helping foster peer relationship for your children? Share your ideas in the COMMENT box below!

You know that mom: the one with the perfect figure, hair and makeup. She’s the one who always bakes the cupcakes from scratch, and always has a smile on her face. She volunteers for just about every committee, and her kids get good grades.

Yes, you know whom I’m talking about. She is super mom. She believes that she must be the perfect wife and the best mother in order to be successful. If her kids are not perfect, than she thinks she has failed. But maybe she’s failed already.

Let’s face it: parenting is hard work. Raising children to be happy, well adjusted, and productive members of society isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Look around. Now, more than ever, we see young adults unable to handle rejection or failure. We have created a generation with a sense of entitlement like we’ve never seen before.

But why? It’s quite simple really. We’ve lost sight of what parenting really means. Does it mean sheltering your child from disappointments? Never letting him fail? Praising him for being mediocre? Pushing him to perfection? Being his friend? No, No, No, No!

But what is a good parent? What must we know about how to raise children? Read on for my 7 Tips for Raising Kids Today:

  1. Be a parent, not a friend. This means you cannot be afraid to be the bad guy. Your child might be angry with you sometimes. Deal with it. The alternative is having an obnoxious kid.
  2. Set limits and boundaries, have rules. And enforce them. Kids need rules and boundaries in order to feel safe. This means you can’t be afraid to say “no”.
  3. Accept your child for whom he is, flaws and all. Nobody is perfect, not even your child. Push him to be his best, not the
  4. Let him fail sometimes. If you don’t, how to you expect him to ever learn how to cope with life’s ups and downs? Nobody is successful at everything. Sometimes, you have to fail in order to succeed.
  5. Hold your child accountable when he makes mistakes. Don’t rescue him or rush in to fix every problem. Give him a chance to make it right on his own. It’s okay for him to struggle a bit. Today’s world demands the ability to admit when you’re wrong and to problem-solve.
  6. Stop telling your kid how he great he is at everything. Point out his strengths and his weaknesses. Yes, every child has some things they are good at, and some things they’re not as good at. It’s important that they know this.
  7. Tell your child you love him, every single day, just the way he is.

So, go ahead, buy the cupcakes at the supermarket. Stop worrying about your make-up or your outfit. Say “no” to being on that committee. You’ve got more important things to do: raising a child.