A blogger for Resources for Infant Educarers, the organization founded by the famed Magda Gerber, said recently, “We don’t think twice about interrupting infants and toddlers, mostly because we don’t value what they are doing.” This is a startling idea, one that suggests that preschoolers’ short attention spans begin when they are constantly interrupted as babies. It also makes me wonder, “What are babies doing and what do babies think about?”

What babies are doing is figuring out how their equipment works. They are practicing using their eyes and ears to bring information. They are practicing control and coordination of their muscles, gaining physical strength, and expanding sensory information through touch and taste. All of this supports brain development by creating neural pathways and increasing the speed of neural response. This is essential stuff. It clearly takes some powers of concentration.

What babies think about, to the extent that babies think at all, develops their sense of intention and their appreciation of cause and effect. Babies who see a mobile might intend to touch it and move their arms or legs to do so, then notice the effect of their efforts. This also is important stuff that creates brain connections and takes uninterrupted time to accomplish.

To us, though, it may look as if babies are just lying there, doing nothing. If we were trapped on our backs or tummies on the floor, we’d be bored out of our minds, so we might assume our babies are also. Even when a baby is content, we often intervene. We attract their attention to something. We interrupt whatever they were working on. This, if it happened to us, would make us unhappy. And we might learn eventually to rely on others for distraction.

When toddlers seem at loose ends and preschoolers expect us to entertain us, it’s possible to imagine that we might be at fault. We may have trained our babies that thinking deep thoughts on one’s own isn’t enough.

So here are some quick tips:

1. Let content babies be. Just like letting sleeping dogs lie and not fixing something that’s not broken, we should check our impulse to insert ourselves into our little children’s lives. If they are happy, they don’t need us.
2. Keep babies away from electronic media. The easiest way to do that is to keep televisions, radios and computerized entertainment turned off. These things distract you too, you know. If the silence presses on you, turn on music, any music you like. But never, ever park a baby in front of a screen and keep your handhelds out of the hands of your toddlers.
3. Choose un-noisy toys without a lot of blinking. Watch what children play with. They play with what researchers have called “loose parts” – the boxes things come in, paper tubes, cloth, and odd bits. They also play longest with toys that do nothing on their own.  Just because Grandma gifted baby with a loud, obnoxious toy isn’t a reason to let it get in the way of your child’s thinking.
4. Make certain your baby has interesting things to look at and do on his own. To gaze out the window, a baby has to be near a window. To feel the breeze on his face, a baby has to be outdoors. Mobile infants and toddlers need places to play that are safe for them, without a lot of restrictions or reprimands.

Keep in mind that there’s a line here. While you want to let your young child to explore and consider and think without interruption from you, you don’t want your baby to feel abandoned. No one is suggesting that you plop a baby on a mat and walk away without another thought. But responsive parenting isn’t intrusive parenting. It’s about the child, not about you.

Secure attachment arises, not from being the center of the parental Universe but from being respected as a worthy human being. Respect means having one’s distress calls answered quickly and lovingly. But respect also means being allowed the space and freedom to think and to do.

Notice and value what your baby is doing. Be careful not to interrupt.

© 2014, Patricia Nan Anderson. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed. Look for free downloads on Dr. Anderson’s website at www.patricianananderson.com.

It’s natural to wonder what you can do to help your baby learn and grow. We hear so much about early brain development and how important the first few years of life are. How can you know that you’re doing the right things? Is there something important you should be sure not to leave out?

When you stop to consider how much a child learns in the first year of life – everything from recognizing his parents’ faces to learning to walk – it should be obvious that this is not the time to think about “teaching.” Babies learn what they need to know through experience and although Mom and Dad help with those experiences, babies do most of the learning themselves. Here’s what babies need to develop their brains.

1. Love and care. In order for babies to learn, they must feel safe and secure. They must believe that people love them and can be counted on to be there when they’re needed. Stress hormones get in the way of brain development, so give your baby a stress-free life, as much as you can.
2. People to talk with. Your baby is in love with your smiling face and pleasant voice. Talk with your baby a lot and listen when he makes noises back. Carry on little conversations throughout the day. Babies who hear a lot of talking learn to talk sooner and better.
3. Things to look at, listen to, smell, taste and feel. Even when your baby is just lying on her back, she is learning about the world. Make sure there are interesting things to touch and look at and play music or use musical toys. Babies learn with their senses.
4. A change of scene now and then. Move your baby around the house with you and don’t keep him in one room all day. Put him near a window some time and bring him into the kitchen when you cook. Keep him safe, of course, but let him experience a variety of locations.
5. Opportunities to stretch, kick, reach, and grab. Babies are learning what their bodies can do and they need a chance to try out different movements. Be sure that your child doesn’t spend too much time in any one position – in a car seat, on her back on the floor, in a bouncy seat – but make sure she gets plenty of changes to wiggle and squirm.
6. Interesting objects to handle and explore. When babies play with toys they learn what the toys can do but they also learn how to control their hands and fingers and how to bring things to their mouths to taste. You don’t need fancy toys but you do need several safe objects that have different textures and colors for your child to play with.
7. Freedom to try new things. As your baby gets older, he’ll want to investigate new places and try out new abilities. Be sure to allow this sort of exploration by carefully supervising him and making sure your home is baby-safe. Babies need to roll over, crawl and pull themselves up. Make sure your baby has freedom to do these things.
8. Encouragement and support. Remember to interact with your baby and let her know how proud you are of her accomplishments. Encourage her to try new things but don’t push. Let her learn at her own speed but with opportunities you provide.

We parents think of learning as something that happens at school so when we imagine our babies learning, we sometimes forget that babies don’t need school skills. They need baby skills. Baby skills include learning to use their bodies, learning what happens when they play with objects, and learning how things look and sound. Baby skills depend on your loving attention and lots and lots of conversation.

Experience is a baby’s best teacher.

© 2012, Patricia Nan Anderson.  All rights reserved.