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What Is a Good Parent? 7 Tips to Raising Kids Today

Lori Freson


You know that mom: the one with the perfect figure, hair and makeup. She’s the one who always bakes the cupcakes from scratch, and always has a smile on her face. She volunteers for just about every committee, and her kids get good grades.

Yes, you know whom I’m talking about. She is super mom. She believes that she must be the perfect wife and the best mother in order to be successful. If her kids are not perfect, than she thinks she has failed. But maybe she’s failed already.

Let’s face it: parenting is hard work. Raising children to be happy, well adjusted, and productive members of society isn’t always as easy as it sounds. Look around. Now, more than ever, we see young adults unable to handle rejection or failure. We have created a generation with a sense of entitlement like we’ve never seen before.

But why? It’s quite simple really. We’ve lost sight of what parenting really means. Does it mean sheltering your child from disappointments? Never letting him fail? Praising him for being mediocre? Pushing him to perfection? Being his friend? No, No, No, No!

But what is a good parent? What must we know about how to raise children? Read on for my 7 Tips for Raising Kids Today:

  1. Be a parent, not a friend. This means you cannot be afraid to be the bad guy. Your child might be angry with you sometimes. Deal with it. The alternative is having an obnoxious kid.
  2. Set limits and boundaries, have rules. And enforce them. Kids need rules and boundaries in order to feel safe. This means you can’t be afraid to say “no”.
  3. Accept your child for whom he is, flaws and all. Nobody is perfect, not even your child. Push him to be his best, not the
  4. Let him fail sometimes. If you don’t, how to you expect him to ever learn how to cope with life’s ups and downs? Nobody is successful at everything. Sometimes, you have to fail in order to succeed.
  5. Hold your child accountable when he makes mistakes. Don’t rescue him or rush in to fix every problem. Give him a chance to make it right on his own. It’s okay for him to struggle a bit. Today’s world demands the ability to admit when you’re wrong and to problem-solve.
  6. Stop telling your kid how he great he is at everything. Point out his strengths and his weaknesses. Yes, every child has some things they are good at, and some things they’re not as good at. It’s important that they know this.
  7. Tell your child you love him, every single day, just the way he is.

So, go ahead, buy the cupcakes at the supermarket. Stop worrying about your make-up or your outfit. Say “no” to being on that committee. You’ve got more important things to do: raising a child.

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Lori Freson

Lori Freson is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Southern California. She has been working in the mental health field since 1997, and has been a licensed therapist since 2002. Lori currently works in her own thriving private practice in Encino and Sherman Oaks, where she serves the San Fernando Valley and Los Angeles areas.